after the flood......what do i pick ,what do i leave behind

hey ...wts gud.how u doin...hope ur good sha
ok so today was ma friends mothers burial(friday d 31st thursday was d wakekeeping and that went well ereone was composed)so i got home at like 11 rili tired and all but i just cudnt sleep did d usual tossin and turnin dt one no work ,tried to play jams dt dint help either finally i slept at 4)....had to wake up at 7 cos d church service was at 10 ......on getting up wasted no tym in pickin what i wud wear(na burial no b fashion show)nd so i throw on black on black on black. look in ma mirror and say ........................(ma name)u got this ,no emotions u av to be strong for ur friend and his family.................i pick up 2 friends on d way nd we head out
1030 we are there(buh seriously e be like say dem take am swear for me i am just neva early always late even to a burial)church service goes as plan next thing we are walking d corpse to d point of no return(burial ground)nd den i feel ma eyes getin WATERY(bad gramma)i quickly lock up and hope nobody noticed it ven if dey did it was proli a fly dt did dt.......we get to d burial ground and all of a sudden ma friends dreams and his lil siblings uncertain future just flash before me and then the WIMP in me comes out nd it starts raining cats and dogs from ma
eyes.i DID NOT CRY OHH(water was just comin out)i dnt even knw y.lol
AT that point i seriously began to wonder what the measure of a man/woman rili was .she came into d world a loner and left a loner irrespective of d money,fame,wealth she had amersed......she left with nothinggg.....what a life...we come here empty and we spend our whole life tryn to fill our bags with fame and fortune thru legit/illegitimate means and we then leave empty handed
THIS death has touched me more dan anybodys(i av lost uncles aunties cousins and all)buh dis hit home to me cos when it happend i took it upon ma self to learn from it nd not let it be just anoda burial.when it happend i rallyd and cald almost all our friends and told them what had happend and told dem about d arrangements and kept callin them to remind them to make out tym to come and dts when d truth about friendship came out
ohh am sorri i dont do burials ohhhh,ahhh i am going to be busy on that day ohh,haaa ma car is faulty ohhh those wer some of d many excuses dis idiots we call friends gave me...i just cudnt believe it i mean this guy has DONE A LOT FOR ALMOST EREONE.his d kinda friend u wud call at d last minute and he wud still b der for u like u had told him all along.....this made me think?if it was me this people wud do d same to me.so if ma moda or fada died all dis soo calld friends would leave me standing......
the truth about friendship is that most of d so called people we call friends are just passer bys in our lifes....they are there to rejoice with us when the road is smooth but when we are in need all we get is dia sympathy from a distance ....to me thru friendship is hey friend we are in this together your problems are mine (vice versa)not hey friend i am rili busy as soon as am done i wud b der(d fools neva come ohh)...dia sometyms goodwilll messages stop workin and loyalty and love start workin.
i still cant believe it that this people dint come i am SOO MAD(but i am not showin it cos i dont want anyone to xplain and gimme any excuses)i am just gonna cut dem off one by one cos frankly whats d point of callin some1 your friend and sayin i have dis persons back nd all and when ur in trouble u look back and ders no 1 behind u.....i am CUTIN DOWN....reviewing d past and takin somefriendships with me and leaving a lot behind.....its betta i have 1,2,3,4(mayb 5real friends)dan trifling niggas and bitches who are just with me for the MOMENT

pls as u read dis d least u can do for me is look back at ur past and present friends.....wud all d people u call friends b der for u wen ur in neeed or wud they give one STUPID EXCUSE and leave u hanging .....wud they be there for u not just in calls and texts but in telling u d truth and defending u wether ur ryt or wrong in front of othersssssssss


am still not in a good mood thou sooo that myt xplain y ma thoughts are scattered and am just writng dis.hopefully tmrw ad b betta and make sense



i wrote this listenin to damien rice 9crimes

your brother from another mother